As I work and talk with mamas and deepen my own parenting practice, I find that these two elements: self-care and authentic practice, are the cornerstone of intentional parenting. And of parenting independence.
What do I mean by 'parenting independence'?
I mean no longer trying to remember what you're 'supposed to do' when your child throws a tantrum because they can't.... (fill in the blank) or you won't... (you name it).
You don't have to remember, because you know.
Now, stay with me here... I'm not saying to avoid information; having strategies and tools is a good thing. All the reading and learning about parenting you do is super helpful in deciding what parenting approach resonates for you.
However, when you're trying to hold all of that information in your head and access it in a moment when your child and/or you are freaking out... not so helpful.
When you care for yourself, when you have a practice that keeps you grounded and present, when your 'come from' is your heart, rather than your head, it's amazing the information you can access.
Yes (of course) this takes practice. But when you get it, it's freakin' amazing.
You relax, gain confidence, and actually enjoy parenting. Your children feel the difference, and the stress level in your family dynamics comes down a few notches.
Now, I'm not going to claim that everything is bliss. But in some ways it is, because you are confident about what really matters, focus on that, and let the other things go.
That sounds like independence day to me.