Here we go again...

Ever feel like motherhood is a position where the job description keeps changing, and you weren't given the proper training? (raises hand)

Seriously ~ even with years of study, training, coaching, and on-the-job experience, I still feel like that more often than I like.

I'm going to keep saying this until it happens... we have to be talking about this, mama!

I was just away for a week ~ the longest I've been gone. My mom watched the boys for some of the time, their dad for some time, and my brother for a bit. Everyone said how awesome and helpful they were (always good to hear, right?) 

So what's the first thing that happened on the day I returned (after flying a redeye all night, ug)?

Total. melt. down.

Not surprising, and honestly I should have been prepared for it. But I was tired and so happy to see them, I thought that would be enough. It wasn't.

My first night back, the boys started wrestling instead of cleaning up after dinner, and didn't listen when I asked for their help several times, so I finally stopped asking. But when they realized they had played well into bedtime and lost the opportunity for dessert (yes, they were given plenty of warning about the time) they lost it, wailing, lashing out, you name it.

With the time for reading books before bed fast running out, they pulled it together and we made it through the night. But alas, the antagonizing re-emerged first thing in the morning and escalated quickly (such a yucky way to start the day, bleah.)

This is where I would coach you to take deep breaths, to use a sensory tool or mindfulness practice of some kind. And I'm happy to say that often, I do. But not this day.

This day, I yelled. Super-tired crazypants mama yelled. And it totally sucked. BUT instead of getting all down on myself, feeling guilty and ashamed afterwards, I apologized.

BAM.

I apologized. I acknowledged that it was not okay for me to yell, and that I know it's scary for them when I do. I let them know I didn't like what they were doing, but it still wasn't okay for me to act that way.

It happens to us all.

I'll say it again, it happens to us all.

So yes, I have a bunch of different approaches to use when I get upset and triggered. I work super hard to use them. And sometimes, I'm human and I make mistakes.

I made extra sure to give them positive attention for the rest of the day ~ because in the end all they really want is my attention, and they'll get it one way or another :)

It's a good thing to talk about this stuff, << Test First Name >>
We need to know we're not alone. And you're always welcome to shoot me an email to share your story, I'm happy to be witness for you. No judgment here.

With so much love,
xoNatanya