I have been talking to some amazing mamas from this community. Each one has a story rich with love, hope, and struggle. Just like you. Just like me.
I spoke with one mama who told me her story, so close to what mine used to be that it gave me goosebumps. She's overwhelmed, frustrated and desperate for parenting to feel better, to simply enjoy being with her kids. I just wanted to reach through the phone and give her a hug.
Since I couldn't, I did the next best thing, and let her know that there is hope. It doesn't have to feel this way. And once it doesn't, it just gets better and better.
I know this because I've lived it. I know what it takes, and in talking with her I could tell that she has what it takes: the desire to make it happen, ability to be honest about what's going on, and willingness to take responsibility for her part.
Honestly, I was blown away by her vulnerability in asking for the help she needs, to have the relationships with her children she so wants to have. It was a beautiful step on the path to getting there.
In fact, she nailed the first step in my process with clients...
Acknowledge your struggle
This may seem obvious, but honestly... we are constantly exposed to messages that we should be a brilliantly super-attached crunchy mama, or that thinking too much about parenting is old news, and just get over it already...
Both of these messages bring up shame for those of us who don't hold neatly to either, and we often hide behind a facade of one or the other. As I have said over and again, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated is totally normal for parents. It's so much easier to deal with and change something if you're willing to look directly at it.
So, today I invite you to be honest with yourself about where you're struggling. Not to become overwhelmed, but to see it fully, as a first step to change.
I'll share more with you about next steps in future posts. For now, sit with this. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. See what you notice.
And of course, I'd love to hear any aha's or reflections in the comments below.
With warm compassion